I hope my descendants aren't relying on me...

Isn't is obvious that I am terrible at journaling? I hope that the most important facts get written down and read and will be helpful someday. It seems however, that you're either going to get the highs or lows from me. The in between is probably going to slip through the cracks. Tonight I just need to write and since I think no one reads this (since my posts are so few and far between...) here is going to be my outlet. I think....

I knew how I was going to write before I started typing, now it has slipped my mind, how I was going to write it, that is. I wish someone were awake for me to call and talk to. Earlier I thought of how it would be if my mom happened to call at that very moment (a very bad moment). Would I be able to put on my best telephone voice and pretend cheerful for her? Or would I be downright honest with what is really on my mind?

Today was fast and testimony Sunday at church. I got up and, among other things, told all the women in the room how very happy I had been lately. I had the opportunity to suffer from depression on and off during the years while I was in school. I have felt quite whole lately and truly blessed. I have had a good week and tried not to be annoyed with anything going on in the family and it has worked. I was excited that things have been going so well. Today we had to have a talk about how things should run around the house. Someone tried to rain on my positivity parade. It didn't work for a while. Then after the silent/avoidance treatment all day I couldn't take it anymore and spent most of the evening crying. At the moment I feel slightly better. Maybe it's the getting-it-out approach. The one who needs to talk about it is NOT a talker. I've asked to talk about it... "I just want to be alone..." is all I get. It hurts my feelings because then I'm sure I did something wrong. Allow the rain or put up the umbrella? I am sooooo torn by the choice right now. How long can I put up with it? How long should I put up with it?

Where did July go?

Latest update. School has started. Erin and I worked together for a week and I decided it would be a rough year. She was grumpy. I was grumpy. We decided to return her to regular public school. She is thrilled to the gills to be mucking about with loads of other 10 year olds! I love her teacher and am looking forward to working with them. Her teacher was her teacher once, for two weeks, before she started kindergarten. She took a picture of Erin for that class and when she brought it home I was so surprised at how much we look alike! See for yourself!

Incoming on Friday!

Shane and Dallin will be home on Friday. We've had some good times while they were away but are excited for them to come home! We mostly kicked back and relaxed, but we worked really hard sometimes, too! I'm including pictures...ward camp, ice skating, other funny moments.

What's with the blog?

Krista's pic got cut off....here it is...all by itself.

A couple of pictures....

The one of Jacob was sent by Poppy from Michigan. It's also "sleep over until Daddy gets home" as per the girls. They sleep on the floor in my room, or rather, Krista likes to sleep on the end of bed bench (which does't fit at the end of the bed due to room layout). Isn't she funny? Pics of Erin another day...the camera cord is in Alaska. I took the ones of Krista with my phone.

Shane gone, Day One (full day)

Shane has emailed and said he has no cell (roaming only) and no internet ($10 a day) unless he's willing to pay big bucks. He can use the computer in the lobby of the hotel, after waiting in line, with all the other grumpy people. So, he may check email once or twice a day. I've decided to make the emails I send as long and detailed as possible, so that he won't be tempted to call. Here is the first installment:

Ward camp is next week and I refuse to go with an air mattress. So, we went to Walmart to get me one, along with a few other things. We decided to try out the solar lights. Got a few of those stuck in the front yard in the sun as soon as we pulled in to see if they work. Got rustoleum to paint the new tent poles. Will get that done before we go over. Yes, I'll try to set up the new tent on my own. It'll be an adventure to write about! We also got some food snacks and fun activities for the girls to do while there: rock painting, clothes pin dolls, and some other thing they were really excited about, oh yes, and a couple hundred water balloons! Hee hee heee. We'll be like toads who drink all day waiting to pee on you when you pick them up. We'll fill balloons all day waiting for someone to show up and play with us and we'll get 'em! I also found another sheet for the boy's blankets-not for camp, but ya know.

Lunch: A&W, for the rootbeer, of course but today there was a bonus! Johnsonville brats! Guess what I got! Yum! My fat content for three days in one sitting! Youngest got scolded for belching in a public place without trying to repress in any way, shape or form. I do hope she will never do it again!

Costco: As always, get gas first. Well the guy in line in front of me, who by the way, backed up right into my lane from another lane as I was pulling up. That should've been my first clue. He pumps his gas. Then gets in his van and sits there. The guy in front of him has an older pick up with two tanks and a big black fold down tailgate. After waiting several minutes, I get out and go ask him is he is able to move. He says, with what is probably a natural state of very bad attitude, "Do you think I could get around him without scratching my car?!" I play dumb, "Oh, I didn't see how big his tailgate was..." He gives me his "I told you so look" and nods at me. I walk back toward the van but first walk around the back of his to see how much room there is. P-L-E-N-T-Y. I could have made it through. But I'm too nice to tell some man that I don't know what I really thought: "Yes, I think if you really try, you could make it through. Since I'm parked WAY behind that white line I'm supposed to stop at, you have plenty of room to back up and GET OUT OF THE WAY!!'' Shopping was fine. Lots of samples, mmmmm. Jacob called while there. He's doing good. They set up a vending machine for someone today. Don't really have all the details, but he had fun doing it. He will be back at Grammie and Poppy's tomorrow. He says that Grammie and Poppy's is too quiet. I agree. He let the girls yak at him for a minute. Then when he got me back on the phone, he kept telling me how many minutes we'd been on the phone. That's his SUBTLE way of reminding me that we've talked long enough. I say something completely off subject and ignore him. He's still our funny Jacob.

We made it home safely and unloaded, even without y'all here to help. Oh, and I even got the garbage out last night too! The sleeping arrangements are apparently "sleep over in Mommy's room" until everyone is back. I don't like leaving them over on the other side of the house alone. So, they sleep on the floor. Krista wants to sleep on the little bench. I put her on pillows on the floor and during the night she crawled up to the bench. Very funny that child! Erin slept on the fouton on the floor. My only request is that they NOT sleep in the bed with me, so kicking them out again when you come home shouldn't be too hard.

I'm eating leftover chicken salsa for dinner. The girls are eating seaweed and rice with chopsticks. Doesn't sound too yummy to me, but they are happy. Now they are done and unloading the dishwasher. I had to tell them that there are no boys here to do the work, we have to do it ourselves. I'll keep on them while you're gone. Don't ease up on them when you come back or they'll let the boys do everything again. I don't like that idea. :) Tonight, some cleaning, probably a movie. Hmm....need dessert....Tomorrow, cleaning, paint tent poles, start to pack for camp on Monday, pick up Japanese girls at 5, luau at Hukilau after that.....and write my Shaney, of course!

Girl Party!

As of 10 am HST, it's girls only at the Gold's house! For three weeks!! Whatever shall we do? The girls have requested ice skating, Dole Plantation and the mall. That all sounds like fun! I think we'll start with the mall right away! And eating dinner out....and....who knows??? :)

Gardening Experiment-Day 15

The cuke plant pic is on it's side, I don't know why...there is a new tomato plant-Romas, only up a week. The cukes are doing pretty good. Some, we think are not getting enough sun. But then comes the trick of enough sun without the exposure to the salt air that kills them. We'll have to move them from hook to hook til we get it right! For the most part, it's looking okay so far.

Gardening Experiment-Day 9

The progress:

Let the lessons begin

Someone on Jacob's flight had a medical emergency. The flight turned around after just over an hour out. The paramedics came and carried a passenger off. After refueling, re-whatevering, they are about 5 hours late. I am very glad that I got Jacob a cell phone before this trip. It's been very good to be able to keep in touch with him through this all. He seems to be taking it well enough. He will survive with out us there on this one. I knew it to be possible, and it's time for him to grow up in some ways, but oh, how I want to be there to help him!

Where do the days go?

The entire summer is pretty much planned. Jacob here, Shane & Dallin there, me somewhere else, Scout camp, summer school, teaching....it's good, but where do the days go? Will I miss them? Yes, I do already, knowing that there seem to be so few of them.

A new gardening journey

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/20/garden/20tomato.html

I read the above article about upside down gardening. It is small scale gardening, but since our last big garden is currently out of commission we're going to start small again. We liked the looks of some of the benefits of this type of gardening.

1) I choose the location of the garden, and can move it any time. We have a problem with the salt air killing the plants. I put them on the protected side of the house.

2) Portable...if we need to leave for a long term emergency we could take them if we wanted to. We have the lids for the buckets. They could be turned upright or find somewhere to hang once we get there. Or, if we're going off island for vacation, we could carry them to the neighbors! Wow, what an idea!

3) Pest control, as listed in the article.

4) Easy to no weeding.

5) Better water retention

Maybe there will be more benefits and drawbacks that we will discover as we go through the trial. We have planted tomatoes, cucumbers, eggplant, hot peppers, basil and lettuce in the tops of the buckets. I've even got some pictures. :) And as soon as my computer stops doing what it's doing...I'll download them!! It won't let me do it for some reason. Hmmmm.....I'll figure this out!

My Jacob

I called the airlines and bought his ticket....he's going to Michigan for almost 5 weeks. I know it will be a really good thing for him....but I'm crying when he's not looking. I think he may be, too....when I'm not looking...or he just looks at me like this: J-scowl.

A little catch up

I've been busily trying to get the kids through the end of the school year. Lots of daily work with Erin, lots of coaxing Dallin, Jacob...yep, the same. We slacked while I finished up school, my fault and now we work hard to catch up. I've learned a lot this year! Never get behind like this!

Saturday we participated in a state wide church service project. We cleaned up at the beaches all over the islands. The kids and I went to Hauula, Shane went to another beach since he is still Bishop. The beaches and parks looked some much better after a couple hundred people fanned through out picking up all the trash, raking up leaves, cutting down over-grown brush. While there the RS president met some homeless people. Shane, at another beach, also encountered homeless people. The other big beach toward Kahuku also has a large homeless population. I naively allowed myself to be blind to something that was right in front of me. We have been collecting a few things for the folks in Hauula. I went shopping at the resale store for some clothes. Two ladies there want jobs but don't have the clothes to even interview, let alone work. Very sad that it's right here, up and close, but I also came to the realization that these folks, aside from living on the beach, aren't really any different than most of us. As I talked to my friend Jodi about it, she laughed as she said "Well, I'm just a few months away from living on the beach!" I doubt that is entirely true but we could all be those people the way things are going right now. Interesting day!

After the service project, since we were dirty, we attacked our own yard. WOW, did it ever need it! I got the front shaped up and presentable again, with the exception of the lilikoi monster that is choking out the plumeria tree. Shane and the boys moved the garden beds out. The bushes along the fence had grown over them and we didn't have access on the ocean side of the beds. Now we get to transfer dirt back into them, re-mix so it's nourishing and get a garden going again. We got lots of garbage out, lots of over growth cut down, lots of stuff done. The yard is shaping up again. Shane and I realized that we've really ignored the yard for a minimum of 2 years, and that the last two to three years are definitely a blur. We've done a lot in the last 2-3 years, some things are winding down now that I've graduated. Shane will hopefully be release as Bishop this summer...that's the logical time frame anyway. It would be best to have a new Bishop in place before the fall semester. Cross your fingers, and more, for us!

Krista had May Day, as you probably saw on Facebook. It's always a lot of fun to watch and work on. The kids can do amazing things. Erin misses participating and for that reason alone would like to go back to school, but I can't do that to her. We're finally in a groove with her schooling! I hope to get great things done over summer with her. Krista will go to summer school for a month and Erin and I will continue working through the summer as well. I'm beginning to see why we were having shorter summers in public schools. I'm not forgetting about the real life lessons that can be learned, but we certainly have to keep up with the academics out here.

The Wiz Woz

That's what Gretchen used to call "The Wizard of Oz." It stuck with me. This is our school play for spring term. And though I've graduated, community members are still allowed to audition and get parts. So I did! And I got a part! My part is Ogma, the wizard's efficient secretary! I hope I get to wear a funky green outfit and do my hair up all funky! I'm going to bring the girls in to see if they can be munchkins! They are perfect for the part...the boys...are getting...too tall....

I'm on a roll, or maybe a barrel...

With my profits from bucket sales...I bought these. I've been wanting them for quite a while. Next item on the preparedness list? I'm still deciding. Probably the pump spout to get the water out of these barrels.

Life is good

So, I have my moments. Oh, the relief of being done with school OR frustration because I still feel just as busy!!!! But I got most of my "to do" list done today, so that is absolutely a good thing, plus I worked for Shane for 2 hours grading. Not really what I wanted to do, but he needed the help.

I got on to write about my big find: 295 new, plastic, food-grade buckets with lids, 4.5 gallons. $75...$75...$75!!!!! I am keeping 100 and the other 195 are called for or already picked up. How's your math? 195-75-20 (gas) =$100 profit, and the 100 buckets to use! I wish I could do this every week! I love Craig's List! And I also got a load of free firewood for our imu (underground Hawaiian cooking pit). I think I'm going for another tomorrow. The folks I got it from are clearing land north of here and are just going to burn it to get rid of it. I figure I have a good use for it, don't just burn it! I'll take that, too!

Hoping to get the pics loaded...one is the buckets before loading, minus the chairs is all for me! The other is the view from where I got the wood. I'll have to bring the real camera tomorrow not just use my phone. The camera just doesn't do it justice. It is a spectacular view!

...almost

I finished my research paper for my Buddhism class last night, proofed it this morning. It is now printed and ready to be handed in. Yipee! Next, take home exam for the same class, but that's easier than the paper. Then, listening exam: teacher plays music recording. We have to play "Name That Tune," and possibly "name that composer, date, genre, composition technique, etc." depending on what the teacher feels like asking us....it's not very fun, but I'm not feeling the stress of having to take it. And finally, the same teacher's written exam. It's not usually very hard because it's open book, no time limit. He allows us to write whatever notes we would like in the book, so the test ends up being pretty easy. However, he asks a long essay question, to be hand written. Argh! I work much better in a word document on computer, editing and such, so my essays are usually the lowest graded part of the test. Once again, I'm not feeling the stress of it. Must be the Pure Bliss of knowing I'm almost done and that my grades have been good enough all semester that a little flub now won't matter! Ah, Serenity Now...almost....

Erin-isms

We have cousins in Finland. Aleksi, who is Dallin's age, is on Facebook. They have chatted once or twice. Erin likes to see who's on chat, not that we ever chat, but she likes to look. She saw Aleksi's name on there and said "He's the one living in Finland. Does he speak English?" I replied "Yes, he speaks English and Finnish." Erin said, with great expression in her voice, "He speaks SPINACH?????"

Addition: during FHE, Daddy was whispering in her ear something to say out loud. She repeated what he said, well, it was close:"It's called the Planet of Happiness." Plan. of. Happiness. Eruption of laughter by the rest of us, and her, too.

Well, this is the first entry.... :)

There are so many ways that I could introduce this blog. There are so many reasons to blog! One big one is to get my thoughts out like a journal. I'm terrible at journaling. Maybe blogging is easier! I am weeks away from my college graduation. I haven't had time for journaling, well, I didn't make time. It's not that things haven't been noteworthy...there have been significant things going on in my life. I'm just not a journal-er. So that's one reason. Reason two, why start now? I found that while I was busy over the last few years, life went on for everyone else. Thank goodness my sister kept a blog so that I could keep up on her life. I missed the boat. I missed years of her life and of mine. I have pictures, hopefully I can piece the last few year together and share on here. Why am I on here today? I feel like I am on the verge on beginning a new chapter of my life. It must be time to start recording it!

First change: goals. So, here are some goals I have made: Exercise daily, eat less sugar (notice I didn't say NO sugar), no naps (unless absolutely-schedule-demanded necessary) and clean for an hour a day. I've got a lot to finish in the next few weeks and then things will change somewhat. No more classes, no more homework, no more tests, no more runs to the library to research, no more group projects...ah...time to be a mom again! I'm looking forward to it!

So, this is my first entry....what more is there to say! Lots! More another day.... :)